Is this how a pre-school meet takes place?

This evening is our pre-school meet. If I kind of refrain from going into so many banal reasons for doing these meets such as team building (guys, you all aware could you achieve anything playing water ball in pools with your teammates in half pants), team spirit (which goes for a toss when it’s a tie for weekend support for the customer), informal communications to understand other person’s viewpoint (where after all we all are outgoing calls only with all incomings barred) etc etc etc…., then in nut-shell, you can say such kind of pre-meets are basically the platform for many to prove their mettle to rest of the batch……you know, to kinda prove to rest as to why they should be considered saviors of the world on doomsday, kind of Barack Obamas you know…..to feed us….the refugees in the asylums at Bangladeshi borders…

So here’s how pre-school meet of top-notch school commences: be it school for MS, school for MBA…..top-notch school for LLB et al….

Some guy proposes a venue for meet, ofcourse the one nearest to his place…remember, he is an admit of the top-notch school, hence a smart guy. And as girls are okay with any venue, coz they don’t have to take any bus or auto…don’t forget they are girls…hence there would surely be guys living only a few metres away from those girls (though in reality they would be few miles). Hence the venue finalizes….coz no one would object to the venue…guys won’t as they get these girls to bring to the venue on their barren bikes (barren coz these bikes haven’t had the honor to have a girl sat on them…don’t forget these are the bikes of admits of top-notch schools…ok, to be blunt, bikes of geeks and nerds….hence no girl has sat on these bikes)…..girls won’t object to the venue coz, as said earlier, they have kinda call-centre kinda pick and drops by these guys (read owners of these barren bikes)

4pm is the meet. And though it’s Saturday…a weekend…where you aren’t supposed to take bath, you have taken bath and that extra pain of shaving your beard…….now you find your best clothes……you forget for a while queen Elizabeth hasn’t chosen you for knighthood..but never mind……you apply that body odor (whose advt on television has that ticket checker (read a lady) getting drowsy on the guy applying it)……you take out your power zero specs…..which you keep reserved for such occasions…..now you are ready to start for the venue……remember you are Barack Obamas of this world……..and so you are going to the meet to make this point loud and blatant.

Venue isn’t extra decorated for your arrival. Jesus, how come these Barista people didn’t know some saviors of the world are here……to save us from doomsday….neither is queen Elizabeth there to bestow upon you knighthood…..but never mind….you would wait for rest of the team to come……so slowly the venue has started getting dense…..music in the background has automatically switched from jazz to some soap opera….no one entering the venue knows anyone else….the refugees of asylums of Bangladeshi borders would keep a low profile and stand in various corners of the venue…..they won’t talk to others…..remember they are refugees and thus mal-nutritioned……they see at each-other and then put their eyes down off-the-sight…..you know the Sita Mayyias of Ramanand Sagar’s ramayan………..talking to a stranger is barred for them by our Vedas you know……so they are still standing in various corners of the Barista day……now is the time for entry of these knights…….beaming faces with those extra-facials, hair right in the place they should be……zero powered specs on they eyes, the saviors enter the scene……..now these barack obamas go to all the corners….collecting the refugees and gather them all in the centre of the venue.

Next is the action-power round….now you are barack Obama…you have gathered them all….so obviously you start…you shake hand with them…..every time you shake hand with someone, you make sure you pronounce your name slow and loud…..and wait a few seconds for the reaction….you are kinda sure you are known everywhere……you are just waiting for the exclamation where the other person would just scream and say ‘oh, youuuuuuuuuu’……but it doesn’t happen….you kinda get surprised..lil shocked also…but never mind….you shake hand wit the next refugee….you make sure you say your name even louder and clearer…you also make extra sure you say your nickname also….the nickname you use for your email communications with them in those google groups and facebooks…….same response…..refugee doesn’t scream and no ‘oh, youuuuuuuuuuu’……you are kinda getting pissed off……..you are barack Obama, and these are the refugees of the asylums of Bangladeshi borders….how the hell they don’t recognize you..the knights of United Kingdoms…the saviors of the world……..you are kind of dejected….so you are introducing yourself to the last refugee…..you tell your name with equal vigor and energy…same tone, same volume and same clarity…..and response comes ‘oh, youuuuuuuuuu’……chest widening….face beaming back reflecting those facials…which were otherwise going futile…….You hug that refugee…….you remember his name……you stand next to him…..now you make sure you affirm what all he says…..you make sure he gets the best sofa to sit…..next to you…….after all, he is your die-hard fan……….and finally you settle down on chairs and sofas on the venue…..the guy who proposed the venue has yet to turn up.

Barren bike is yet on the way…….biker is as happy as the bike is….and girl is as happy as both biker and bike are…after all she has pick and drop man…kinda win-win you know……..today traffic is also relatively more……bike is extremely happy…..and biker is kinda showing concern cursing traffic that they are getting late……and kinda getting happy internally thanking traffic…..for these jams…remember, he’s a nerd…a geek…who doesn’t get to have girls sit on his bikes any often……finally, cursing, thanking…..they reach the venue.

Obamas are busy telling these refugees on what all they have already done to change the world……how they are better in music than rahman, in cricket than Sachin, and in economics than Amartaya sen…refugees are obliged meeting these saviors…super geniuses….and in between they are gazing at the café day counter…..remember they are mal-nutritioned and need grab those few bytes and sips…..

Owner of barren bikes and the girls have entered the venue….Guys are busy parking their vehicles outside, whereas girls have kinda disowned these guys…and already entered the venue…..so first Obama stands up to take the lead…..he extends his hand and do the same name pronouncing ceremony….louder and blatant….no ‘oh youuuuuuu’……he sits down…next Obama…..next Obama…..refugee 1…….refugee 2……intro done…..girl settles down…..owner of barren bike enters the scene…….gets to find place far away from that girl…….settles down…..looks at the girl….girl is busy talking to these knights and refugees….no eye-contact with driver of her pick-and-drop cab...barren bike is standing helpless again in scorching heat outside the venue

So everyone is at the venue now…..all girls, guys have reached…..the guy who proposed the venue has already reached the venue…..The Barack Obama whom one refugee had recognized as ‘oh youuuu’ is still taking that extra care of this mal-nutritioned refugee.

Remember…you are the barack Obama…so you are supposed to bang the NASDAQ bell to start the pre school meet….so you take the lead….you randomly choose a guy asking him to start with his introduction…..excitingly, that guy is also no less than savior of the world…so here’s how it goes:

Hello Friends, so I guess most of you already know me…most of them just wonder looking at each other…notwithstanding, he continues…..so friends, I am the Deputy General Manager of Bedi & Bedi….I guess most of you already know it…another round of wonder…everyone looking at each other….notwithstanding, he continues…..though I am deputy GM, I take care of responsibilities of general manager also…Why? no mention…. what the hell this GM is doing …..has his wife run away with his driver…..or has he run with his wife’s maid……that this Obama is taking care of GM’s responsibilities………he continues…….I brought 6 new clients to my company…..I delivered 4 challenging client assignments on time….I saved $6 mn of my company optimizing costs…I started Eco club in my company…..I recruited 40 new employees for my organization…I set up the vertical for corporate finance in my company….I captain Rugby team of my company…….I represent my company at Pragati Maidan, Delhi……I setup an NGO for women empowerment with financial support from my company…..I setup BPO operations for my international clients in my company…..Refugees in full awe, jaws open…..but don’t forget…..there are other obamas too…..so one Obama speaks up-how could you manage to do all this man?..... I drive my passion from this work man…..I am a multi-dimensional person….I love to deliver best and in-time…I just love my work so much….Then why you want to do an MS man?? One asked…….Man, actually I am bored of work..tht’s why…Yeah right!


So the Obama who had banged the NASDAQ bell is back in action….when the Deputy General Manager was speaking, he was busy in back of his mind comparing himself with that DGM…..and proving on every point to himself how he’s better than this DGM…..and as DGM is finished with his intro, and as this main Obama has told himself making a point-to-point comparison with DGM that he himself is the best, he is assuaged, hence back to his best again……ready to randomly pick someone else for intro……Girl is still busy talking to knights and obamas in her vicinity…her driver, sitting remotely, is solacing himself watching Television on the wall screen some 10 feet away….watching advt of Pulsar bike on MTV, his barren Pulsar bike still stood intact under scorching heat in the parking lot.
4-5 introductions have already happened……It’s a big team of around 20…….hence sitting on remote ends can’t hear each other…..so they are kinda making small groups in their vicinity and talking their own local stuff……..like in an island….far away from what’s happening in the capital of the country…which is far on right end…where main Obama and DGM are sitting…..so discussion happening on this remote end island is like this:

So, watched My name is khan? yes, says the other person from this island….junk movie, proclaims the first one…..it was okay, third person jumps in the discussion…this is the same guy who was watching pulsar advt on television, after being dumped by his co-passenger on the bike……what’s going on….I can’t hear anything, complains the second person……why you want to hit your head…..take it easy man….advises the first person……this is not the way meets take place, third one hits back….after all he is pissed off his co-passenger is not even looking at him…..being sitted on the other island………

2-3 introductions of okay-okay looking girls also happened….but people sitting in their islands din’t bother enough…..and now this main girl….the prettiest of the all had his turn……main Obama pointed his directive finger at her to start……islands signed the treaty and joined the government of main country……..no more My name is Khans….no more local dialects…..all focused on this girl……and this girl starts:

Well, I don’t know…I mean…I think……..you know…….and all guys, esp obamas, nodding their heads up and down understanding what all this girl is saying…..refugees are busy figuring out what the hell this means what this girl is uttering out…then they see these obamas nodding their heads………they surprised why they can’t understand anything out of it……then they remember they are mal-nutritioned…….so sit back normal to pay attention to this wisest-than-thou oracle……..and heres the girl continues:

Hahaa….and she starts giggling…Obamas follow path…..refugees confused…Pulsar advt is back on the television…….but this driver doesn’t see there…he wants to listen to what this prettiest than all has to say…..infact, everyone wants to listen to what she has to say….it’s pin-drop silence….nagasaki and Hiroshima have been demolished…and there’s complete muteness now..and the girl continues:

I have always wanted to….you know…..shrugging her shoulders…..now hand on her fringe sliding down the hair…fringe put back behind the ear…t-shirt pulled down to stretch it even more…….then sip of her lemon tea…..then another sip……then giggle……saying why you all looking at me…it makes me nervous…..then final giggle……and intro over…main Obama, other obamas and DGMs appreciating her intro…….refugees cursing their governments for mal-nutrition and lack of proteins for their brain development….that couldn’t understand an iota…..

New guest comes in…everyone hasn’t joined yet….it’s already 5, an hour late than set….he comes, joins, sits and keeps sitted……main Obama hasn’t bothered to ask his name or introduce him……as soon as he settles, a girl also joins in…..it’s 5:05pm…..main obama is back in action…tables, chairs and sofas are being adjusted and aligned….to make space for her to sit comfortably………….she waves ‘hi’ hand to main Obama, one girl, second girl, third girl…….then sits and settles down……..refugees solacing themselves…….DGM thinking in mind I am the DGM in my company…handling GM responsibilities…I…….I……….I……….I

Now other obamas feel they should also get into action…..they get hyper-active for some time……..talk to people near them…..hurl poor jokes even when not needed……..try speak extra loud so that they are properly heard in the entire herd……..repeatedly ask names of people sitting in remote islands….remember country is divided into islands as soon as wisest-than-all prettiest girl has finished her enlightening speech……..then after 4-5 minutes of hyper-activism, all these obamas go into dormant state turn-by-turn.

Now 2 refugees get up and decide to go to their asylums….they have some work to do…some appointment might be…..world bank is sending some flour or pulses……or they have some other work….but they leave…….1 or 2 girls also stand up to go……..looking at their drivers…..drivers are back to their vintage facial faces…….barren pulsars are beaming too.

Now, only 7-8 people are left…It’s 6 pm, and most people have left….

I am the state chess player, main Obama says
I don’t like chess..it’s too indoor….I am the company captain of Football team, other Obama states
I started chess club and football club in my company, DGM pronounced..It’s not yet clear whether GMs wife ran away with driver or GM ran away with wife’s maid

I am the state bhangra team captain, main Obama says
I don’t like bhangra…it’s too folk…I am the Salsa guy, other Obama states
I started Bhangra club and Salsa group in my company, DGM pronounced….he loves his job but wants leave for MS because his job is boring...yeah right!

So, two obamas are off the scene………main Obama stays back..2 refugees and one driver-co passenger couple are still there…..Barack Obama is there on newspaper in Barista day…that page proclaims Obama popularity 52% down from during his 2008 elections….

Main Obama, probably after reading this news, goes off-the scene…….one refugee takes immigration with this Obama in his car……the driver, co passenger and barren bike go off the scene….

Last refugee is walking down alone…thinking what was this all…..why we came there….what all we did….what point did we want make…..was this meet to know each others’ achievements, profiles or designations? Had we gathered to showcase or expose some kinda strengths like in Mahabharata era, where warriors used to gather (kind of Olympics of those times) to showcase their competencies?
Last refugee is thinking hadn’t we gathered to become friends? To know each other more as humans….to establish that eternal bondage and to take a first step towards that…….Refugee is confused…Refugee is probably confused because refugee is a refugee and hence mal-nutritioned!